When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.