I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."