I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.