I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.