During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.