She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.