My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.