I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.

My wife gives good headache.