I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
I was a poster child... for birth control!
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.