I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.

Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.

I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!