My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.