Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".
Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.