All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.

I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?