She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.

I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.

I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!