My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.