When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.