When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.
Rodney DangerfieldIn the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
Rodney DangerfieldWell with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield