Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.