My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.