Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.