There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.