I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.

Everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. Ultimately I'm the writer for me, but also anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me and I'm pretty good at helping them get there. I think we all work together on some level, but for the most part, we're on our own.

I did have a deal for a little while a cigar company that never really materialized that much, except that I ended up with 100 boxes of my own cigars with my signature on them. Which is great, they are wonderful cigars but they never really fulfilled out so now I'm out of it. I can sign up with somebody else or go pick a blend or whatever. I probably will, there is no sense in not doing it.

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.