How wise are Thy commandments O Lord. Each one of them applies to somebody or other I know.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.