You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.

More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'

It's not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.