If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village

If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.