Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.