I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.

I don't need a lot of space.

People say, like, "I love when you smile because part of your mouth goes up," then I never organically smile again.

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.

If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.