I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of "offensive." Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?

People who like what I do come in all shapes and sizes. Not sure what the common denominator is per se. Oh, it's meeee! But to be embraced by a progressive community means something to me and this one feels like home.