Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.

I think when you're 25 you're still finding yourself, and you should have the freedom of that.

People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience.

Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of "offensive." Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?

I am 39 years old, and I still wake up every morning really excited I don't have to go to school.

I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"