The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

I don't need a lot of space.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.