The sun shines directly on this great country, and it can be harvested, it's not owned by anybody. It's something the Jews and the Palestinians share and could work together to make the whole world a better place, not just this Middle East stuff, but the whole world.

I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.

Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.

People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.