I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.

I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.