Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.