In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.