The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.