Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.