Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.