Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.