The best things in life are silly.

This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.

In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.