The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.

I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.