If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.

It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.