If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.

You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.