This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.

I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.

He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.

Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.