Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.