Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.

Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.

I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.

Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.