As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.

The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.