Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.