Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

I try to avoid giving advice.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.