Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.

I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.