I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

Home is pretty utopian.

Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.

For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.