I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.

You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day

Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.