Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.

The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.