There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently

Render any politician down and there's enough fat to fry an egg.

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.