A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

Render any politician down and there's enough fat to fry an egg.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.