I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.