We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

In the human race today, you came last.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.