You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.