You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

In the human race today, you came last.

It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)