I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.