If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.

I'm Irish. We think sideways

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

I told you I was sick.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.