All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.