All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.