We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!