Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

Its all in the mind, you know.

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.