Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.